The church staff holiday gathering morphed into a luncheon that took place at a popular restaurant yesterday afternoon. I was happy that the restaurant had big screen TVs on the walls that played music videos. It gave me something to look at when Pastor and his wife, and Young Custodian and his wife, started droning on about baby gift registries and baby items. The other person at the table, Navy Guy, has children who have long been adults and out of the house. He really couldn’t contribute to the baby conversation, either.
Pastor’s toddler was at the table, too. When I was wasn’t looking at the music videos, I spent time playing with the kid by imitating his movements. The kid likes to clap and point, and he’s learning how to snap his fingers. But the kid has a short attention span, so that didn’t last long.
There was no acknowledgement that I and Navy Guy weren’t participating in the conversation. That is so typical of parents who get so caught up in their childed world that they don’t notice anything else. Even when in a one-on-one situation with a lot of them, it’s hard to keep them from drifting back to kid subjects. For example, I have experienced a lot of blank looks from moms when I talk about anything that is going on in the world outside of their kids. It’s like they can’t relate to the outside world anymore. I used to do the polite thing and ask a lot of questions about the kids when I saw they wanted to discuss nothing else. I don’t do that anymore. Either I keep changing the subject, or I just make a point not to hang around them for long periods of time.
Fortunately, I only live a few blocks from the restaurant, so I could walk home afterwards. I was spared further conversation about everything about babies. The expectant wife — Young Custodian’s wife — was talking about having Pastor’s wife come along to help her pick things out on the baby registry. I was spared having to continue another kid conversation in the car.
After reading your blog for awhile, I’m earnestly hoping that one of these days, another childfree woman or couple joins your church… not necessarily for a “must have” friendship, but so that the leadership of the church understands that you’re not an anomaly… we’re out there!!! I’m fairly certain we’re the only childfree couple at our church, but so far we haven’t been bothered much — and one of my good friends with children has shut people down when they try to bother me about it. I love her because it’s so rare to find a friend with kids who has respect for the childfree and who can do more than talk about her children non-stop!!!